To Have Children Or To Be Childfree
New research finds that having children can keep your brain young, and there’s a really interesting pattern to it, too, which we’ll come back to shortly.
It’s an interesting development given the recent rise in people saying they want to remain childfree, and given the palpable feeling of judgement that both those who have or want children, and those who want to remain childfree, can give to one another.
So, perhaps this new study will give parents and those who wish to become parents, a feeling of optimism, and even increased confidence in their choice, when they are faced with negativity about their decision. Or perhaps it will make you revisit your decision to be childfree, something I address a little later. First, the research.
The Research: Parents’ Brains As They Age
Using data from UK Bio Bank – the largest population-based neuroimaging study to date with adults aged 40 to 69 years – the researchers assessed the brain function of 19,964 females and 17,607 males as they age, and found that the more children parents had had, the greater connectivity their brains displayed, especially within the somato/motor network [1].
The somatic motor system is the neural system responsible for voluntary movements in response to its surrounding environment, controlling your muscles for limb coordination, posture maintenance, and complex movements like finger dexterity and speech [2].
In other words, the more children men and women have, the younger-looking their brain structure and functioning by the time they are in mid to late life.
This finding goes in the opposite direction of ageing, as when a person ages, there is decreased connectivity in this region.
And having checked for differences between parents and non-parents, the researchers conclude that the brain differences do appear to represent a generalised parenthood effect.
Therefore, having children appears to have a neuroprotective effect on brain function in later life, in mid to late life adults, and the more children parented, the greater the ‘anti-ageing’ effect in both men and women. An ongoing benefit to having parented children.
And as the finding was the same across men and women, the researchers state:
‘This effect of parenthood is consistent between females and males, implicating mechanisms of the shared parental environment, rather than solely biological alterations related to pregnancy, birth, and lactation. For both females and males, higher number of children parented was associated with higher functional connectivity, largely concentrated within the somato/motor network, and between the default network and the rest of the brain.’
The default network is active during passive moments and is responsible for things like remembering the past, thinking about the future, processing information in relation to yourself, and mind-wandering.
So various brain effects were actually noted.
Reasons Behind The Anti-Ageing Effects
Given these younger looking brains were found in both men and women, the findings suggest that it’s the act of engaging in caregiving that is likely the cause, even if some hormonal changes also play a role.
How can this be?
Well, our brains do rewire themselves in response to how we use them, and so the researchers suggest that engaging in things like cuddling, cradling, feeding, and playing, plus being attuned to a child’s non-verbal cues when they are young in order to keep them safe and help them develop, could create changes in the parents’ visual, auditory, tactile, sensory brain networks, over time.
Furthermore, as those children age, parents have to engage and evolve their thoughts, attention and empathy in line with their child’s needs in order to help their child’s social and behavioural development.
It’s a lot of good exercise for the brain, so to speak.
Plus, another possible reason given for the discovered neuroprotective effects on the parental brain could be the greater social opportunities that come with being parents, and the resulting stimulation.
For example, more visits from loved ones, a greater social network at home with a single child or multiple children, social contact with parents of other children, and socialising with their own adult children and grandchildren as they themselves age.
So, being a parent to one child, whilst taxing in some regards and rewarding in others, can actually keep you young, and the more children you parent, the younger it can make you!
If You’re Not Having Children
But if you don’t have children because you cannot (and I’m so sorry if that’s hurting you right now) or because you simply feel that you don’t want them, then consider focusing on activities that will keep the aforementioned parts of your brain in active use for years to come.
For example, opportunities that require attention; empathy; caregiving to others, whether paid or voluntary, for family, friends, neighbours or strangers; physical co-ordination; and maintaining social relationships.
Just remember that your brain is brilliantly resilient and you can rewire it throughout your lifetime through how you use it, so look for alternatives to help you achieve ‘anti-ageing’ brain effects for yourself, too.
5 Reasons You Might Think You Want To Be Childfree, But End Up Changing Your Mind
But what if you’re, albeit subconsciously, childfree by choice but a little undecided, or are currently outright against the idea of having children yourself?
Well, let’s have a look at some of the reasons why you might feel that way now, but end up changing your mind. If you don’t, that’s fine, but it’s worth considering the following as you wouldn’t be the first person to have a change of heart.
This list is by no means exhaustive, but here are five reasons you may have decided having kids isn’t for you, when the reality is, you might only be seeing it that way at this point in your life for a reason.
5 Reasons That May Be Temporary
1. You’re not in the right relationship and no matter how long you’ve been with your current partner, deep down, you’re not sure they’re the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. So, right now, you’re of the opinion that having children just isn’t for you.
2. Your current partner doesn’t want children and so you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t either.
3. You keep company with people who talk frequently about the fact that they don’t understand how people could want to have children, and perhaps that their ‘fur-babies’ are enough and, over time, you’ve come to think the same way.
4. You just don’t see it as something that will be fulfilling because you know deep down that it will put a (further) strain on your relationship.
5. You believe that, should you have a child with your current partner, you will be left to undertake the majority of the childrearing yourself, and that fills you with worry, maybe even dread.
So, what am I saying?
I’m saying that sometimes it’s the people in your life – your partner or your social circle – that are making you see the childfree choice as ‘the only’ right choice for you. That maybe, just maybe, it’s not how you will feel when you are surrounded by different people.
Just something to think about.
Keep an open mind – you never know what wonderful journey it might take you on, and as a bonus, your brain may age slower, too.
Reference
1. Orchard, E.R., Chopra, S., Ooi, L.Q.R., Chen, P., An, L., Jamadar, S.D., Yeo, B.T.T., Rutherford, H.J.V., & Holmes, A.J. (2025). Protective role of parenthood on age-related brain function in mid- to late-life. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 122(9) e2411245122. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2411245122
2. ‘Somatic Motor System’, USA: ScienceDirect®. Available at: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/somatic-motor-system
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