Last week I gave a presentation to a room full of business women. They came from different industries and were all there to network and learn something useful to help them increase their business’ success. The topic I was discussing was actually as relevant to their business relationships with their prospects, customers, staff, etc, as it was to their personal relationships.
We looked at verbal and non-verbal communication and the power of your heart and its electrical signals, to either attract or repel customers and people, towards or away from your business and you.
Without delving into much of the material covered on that day, it is suffice to say that most of the lovely ladies in the room came over to me afterwards to say thank you for a wonderful talk and that it had been very interesting and useful, or something to that effect. What was interesting for me was that later that day I received a phone call from someone and was instantly able to apply what I had preached earlier that day to know that I knew something was not right and that I was being fed lies by the caller.
I am sharing this with you, my lovely readers, in the hope that you can use this story to help your business or personal relationships by being aware of the unspoken so that it always informs your knowledge, awareness and next move.
The phone call in question was from a stranger, a female, asking lots of unusual questions under the guise of a cover story.
The cover story and her line of questioning were not congruent with one another. That was clue number one.
Clue number two was that her cold manner did not match the reason she had given for the call, but did match the reason I suspected she had called asking such questions.
Clue number three, she was very insistent with certain questions, too insistent for a lady who claimed she had been researching Google and could have easily sought the answers to her questions on the internet instead of ringing me.
You see, it’s so easy to note the unspoken that is being conveyed when you realise that people communicate in many ways all the time, not just via the words they speak. Their words or their avoidance of words, their sentiments or lack of, their non-verbal communication, their other behaviours, the moments at which they pause, etc, all communicate so much to you. When you pick up on these factors, whether on the phone or face-to-face, in a group environment or one-to-one, you can quite correctly understand what other people are thinking and feeling, and how you should respond to achieve your desired outcome.
Going back to the lady on the phone, I knew from all that I had picked up, that I needed to end the conversation because she wasn’t telling the truth about why she had rang and I had the feeling that she would likely manipulate my words if I didn’t choose them carefully. I was glad to end the call. Funnily enough, I didn’t give her any answers she couldn’t have easily extracted from my very transparent website, the website she told me she had already visited.
Why didn’t I give her any new information during that phone call? Simply because I felt very uncomfortable during her call, I suspected the real reason for her call, and I wasn’t going to help someone who seemed to be up to something sneaky.
So remember, next time you get those clues, pay attention to them, and let them inform your next move. You know more than you might think you know. Trust yourself. Those hunches come from somewhere. If you want me to do this presentation/workshop at your business network, for your staff, your group, or for some other gathering, just ask! It will definitely help you learn useful tips and tricks to apply to your own business and life.
