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How Your Heart & Emotions Affect Relationships

By May 23, 2013Blog

I just wanted to share this with you as I know I talk about it a lot when doing workshops and presentations for business owners and individuals, but probably haven’t gone into much detail about it in my blog.

This stuff is amazing, and it very much informs my day to day life and my work.  It will help you to make sense of so much, and be aware of how you are in your relationships, work and social.

The Research – Heart and Emotions

Research by Rollin McCraty and his team at the HeartMath Institute has found evidence to suggest that the heart is in a constant two-way dialogue with the brain, and that the heart sends more information to the brain than the brain sends to the heart.  The heart is also credited with storing its own memories and instructing the body’s organs.

As we experience negative feelings like anxiety, anger, insecurity, and frustration, our heart rhythm patterns become more erratic. These erratic patterns are sent to and processed by the emotional centres in the brain, which recognize them as negative or stressful feelings.

These signals create the actual feelings we experience in the area around the heart and in other parts of our bodies. The erratic heart rhythms also block our ability to think clearly.

Conversely, HeartMath’s research shows that when we experience positive emotions like love, care, appreciation and compassion, the heart produces a very different rhythm. In this case it is a smooth pattern that looks like gently rolling hills.  These heart signals let the brain know that the heart feels good and often creates a relaxed, warm feeling in the heart area.

Research by the HeartMath Institute has also discovered that our heart’s electrical signals affect the heart signals of other people that are touching us or are merely in close proximity to us.  This is possible because the heart generates a very powerful electromagnetic field that can be detected several feet away!  Bearing in mind that our brains then interpret these heart signals, we can see how the emotions of one person can be transferred to another.

The Research Implications – Our Relationships

Ever had that feeling when you feel upbeat and then someone walks into the room you’re in and you suddenly feel a lull in your positive mental state?  Partially that could be due to negative verbal and non-verbal communication you receive from them but it can also be due to your heart synchronising with the energy signals that their heart’s emitting.

So remember, whenever you come into contact with people, they are picking up on much more than just your verbal communication and non-verbal communication; they are also picking up on how you are feeling internally, and then respond accordingly.  Of course, put all of these three factors together, and you can see how easy it is for people to also work out what you’re secretly thinking!

So when you’re interacting with your partner, family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, and customers, by being very present in that moment, by focusing on their verbal and non-verbal communication and on the feelings around your chest area, you can learn a lot about the other person, your relationship, their inner private thoughts and, most importantly, how best to communicate with them in order to get what you want and at the same time, give them what they want.

If you can do this, so can they; so be sincere, be uplifting, and be loving.  Remember the Maya Angelou quote I’m a little obsessed with?  “People may not always remember what you did or said but they will always remember how you made them feel.”  How much more meaning does that concept now take on!

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