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Successful Relationships Aren’t Built On Auto-Pilot

By December 16, 2013Blog
relationship moments

Successful Relationships Are Built On A Minute To Minute Basis

It’s so true that the little things make the biggest difference.  The smallest gestures often speak the loudest.  The unspoken speak volumes.

When I think about the people who try to build their relationships on auto-pilot, I think about the majority.

Why have we become so uninvolved in our own happiness and the happiness of our beloved?  What makes us think that in a world where infidelity is rife, we can be so complacent?

If we want to create happy, healthy relationships, we have to pay attention to the small gestures of others, and focus on reciprocating in our own way.  Just as the “devil is in the details”, the love is in the details, too.

In my book, Relationship Remedies, I write, “If we miss the non-verbal signs and actions of someone’s compassion, we may miss the opportunity to have a rewarding relationship with them. If you care enough about someone you owe it to them and yourself to search hard for the signs of true love.”

Think about the things that your loved ones do that show they care about you and your happiness. These are the associations that you have with your relationships.  What sorts of associations do you create in their mind?

If we ask a person how happy their relationship with their partner, parent, child, sibling or friend is, their mind will instantly pull through the associations they have with that person.  Within moments your brain will have scanned all the information lying at a subconscious and conscious level and the answer will come back.

What information is stored within us?  The information we have accumulated over the years.  Information we may not be consciously aware of, but information that your brain has access to, nonetheless.  Information that we have stored subconsciously by watching how people are with us, but again, information we didn’t necessarily store consciously.

Subconscious and conscious information informs our subconscious and conscious thoughts.  It is those thoughts that feed our emotions.  It is those thoughts and emotions that we recollect when we ask ourselves, how happy does this person make me and how much does this person truly love me?

So remember to get in the driving seat of your important relationships, and feed the conscious and subconscious minds of your loved ones, with as many wonderful little gestures and unspoken gestures so that they always associate you with happiness and love.

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