When we look at those who went from obese to slim, or the person who found the love they were after, or the person who climbed the success ladder in their career, one common denominator we’ll notice is that they were ready. They were ready for success, ready for change, ready for loving themselves enough, ready to see themselves better than they were. No amount of help is going to create change until the student is ready for change.
When the student is ready the teacher will appear, they say. Ordinarily we may think of this in terms of someone who is ready to learn something new and so finds themselves in front of the right person to teach them. The saying also means that when we are ready to learn and grow, we will be ready to listen to and act upon knowledge we glean from a teacher who is already in front of us and perhaps has been for months or even years.
The teacher may be a person, but equally, the teacher may be an event or an opportunity. These “teachers” may be visible and accessible but if we don’t feel worthy of, or truly ready for, our desired successes, we will sabotage our own chances of success.
When we don’t feel ready on the inside, we won’t put ourselves in situations necessary to bring about such successes. When we don’t feel ready on the inside, we may “kick and scream” at the teacher. When we don’t believe ourselves worthy of, or ready for, the change ahead, we may “dig our heels in” and “fold our arms”, utterly resistant to all the teacher can help us with. So before you question why you’re not achieving ‘x’ or attracting ‘y’ into your life, ask yourself if you’ve done what you need to do in order to move towards your goals.
What do you need to work on, psychologically, in order to feel ready for your desired success? For example:
- Do you need to read more to get yourself to a position of greater self-confidence?
- Do you need to address unresolved emotional hurt from the past?
- Do you need to know that your loved ones will support you in the successful attainment of your goal and be supportive of the changes it will bring?
- Do you need to eliminate unhealthy relationships from your life?
- Do you need to start focusing on the 80% of your current situation that is making you unhappy and keeping you from achieving your goals instead of focusing on the 20% that is making you happy…for fleeting moments or a few hours?
What do you need to do practically, which will actually also impact you psychologically, to help you to feel ready to achieve your goal? For example:
- Do you need to gain more practical independence from your parents or partner?
- Do you need to get off drugs (legal or illegal, including antidepressants and alcohol)?
- Do you need to move home?
- Do you need a new set of clothes?
The list you come up with may have small, simple changes as well as big, drastic changes. Sometimes it’s the smallest changes that have the most profound impact on your life so if starting small feels easier, start small.
Think about what’s holding you back from being ready for your teachers. You may find it helpful to look at those who have what you want, and ask yourself, what would they do, what sorts of daily decisions must they make, what changes might they have made to get them to where I also want to be?
Just remember Albert Einstein’s wise words when thinking about your own situation, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”