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Interracial Marriages – 5 Tips For Success

By November 19, 2014Blog

Interracial marriages and relationships are much more common place now, but we all know deep down that too many people enter marriage (interracial or intraracial) with a flawed mind-set.  In other words, they will go into marriage with an attitude that sets them up for failure rather than success.

Do you think interracial marriages are fraught with even more dangers than a non-interracial marriage?  I believe that every relationship and marriage has its own set of challenges, some more than others, some different to others.  It really boils down to the challenges you are facing and how quickly you identify them and how proactively you resolve them.

Of course, entering into an interracial marriage brings its own unique set of challenges that won’t necessarily exist in an intraracial marriage.  Prevention is the best cure so if you’re planning on an interracial marriage then use these 5 tips to help ensure you have a successful marriage for life.

Interracial Marriage Success – 5 Top Tips

1. Understand & Respect Their Culture

Do you understand each other’s culture fully and are you genuinely respectful of it?  You have to understand your partner and respect their upbringing and culture for long-term understanding, respect and love to flourish.  It’s also vital in order for you to bond with your in-laws and, should you want to have children, raise healthy offspring together.

Whilst you may have both been born and bred in the same country, your parents’ ethnicity will have shaped your life experiences.  There will be certain unspoken rules that you will need to share with your partner.  These cultural lessons can go on for a lifetime, so don’t think a quick crash course before you introduce them to your parents will be sufficient.

2. Immerse Yourself In Your Partner’s Culture

Are you willing to integrate each other’s cultures into your own life and your own future family, whether you want to have children or simply remain a duo?  Nobody should have to lose their identity.  Each partner should be able to immerse themselves into the other’s culture and still be able to maintain their own customs and traditions.

This is actually a very exciting part of being in an interracial marriage, if you approach it correctly.  Annual cultural celebrations become multiplied, which means there’s even more fun to be had than before.  The food you eat can become more varied.  Social functions can bring new, fun experiences.  You learn things you perhaps wouldn’t otherwise learn.  You may even learn a new language as a result.  By following this tip, you really do set yourself up for loads more fun and interesting experiences than you might otherwise have.

3. Integrate Well With Your Ethnically Different In-Laws

Are you both willing to do what it takes to integrate well into one another’s culturally different families?  A marriage is about marrying that person and their life, which means their family feeling like your family and your family feeling like your spouse’s family.  Spouses that get on well with their in-laws invite fewer marriage problems in the long-run.

It is also a much desired reassurance for both sets of parents.  After all, they want to feel like everything fits well and they too want to feel that you are going to be married for life.  Integration helps create that sense of reassurance and security and tightens familial bonds all round.

4. Minimise Spiritual Conflict

Do you feel you both need to belong to the same faith before you enter wedlock?  Are you sure you can really be happy if your spouse doesn’t share your cultural heritage or religious beliefs?  Do you both clearly know how you intend to raise your future offspring, not only in terms of values and morals but also in terms of religion?  These are vital questions for you to discuss at length with one another.  Belonging to different faiths can cause a lot of disharmony so if you do decide to do this, be sure that you are truly content with this and have guidelines in place that will allow you to respect each other’s belief systems for the long-haul.

5. Be Sure You’re Marrying For The Right Reasons

Are you marrying one another for the right reasons?  Desire for freedom from your parental home, to punish your parents or to look cool, are not reasons to get married.  Nor is it wise to marry someone because you just want to tell the world you’re married and tick it off your to-do list.

Marriage is supposed to be for life; marry someone you absolutely cannot live without and you’ve already won most of the battle!  That’s the type of love that will help ensure you do whatever it takes to follow the other 4 tips. That’s the type of love that will see you through every challenge you face, whether related to culture, ethnicity, gender or something else.

This list isn’t exhaustive but these are key points to seriously consider before embarking upon the journey of marrying your ethnically different sweetheart.