What people think and feel behind closed doors and the things they’re willing to say in hushed conversations is very different to what you might expect, but probably more close to how you wished the world was.
One thing I have loved about those secret conversations with clients over the years is realising that the world as it is presented to us – usually online – is not the way many people actually live or want to live.
Furthermore, as people have increasingly experienced the downsides of singletons being inundated with choice, and the toxic behaviours that arose with it, many began to see dating and the quest for love in a different light. Fortunately.
So, to help you get your self-respect back on track, here are 5 secretly popular dating rules for you, assuming you’re looking for marriage and lasting love.
5 Secretly Popular Dating Rules
1. Respect your time. People who are genuinely interested in getting to know you, are eager, the energy flows easily between you, and they don’t leave you feeling heavy, overly-confused or super-anxious.
2. Protect your mind. Avoid anyone who is psychologically manipulative, playing mind games with things like ‘breadcrumbing’ or using abuse tactics to make you second-guess yourself and lose your confidence. You’re looking for someone who is compassionate and respectful.
3. Value your body. Don’t give your body away to any old person, visually or physically. You’ll feel so much better for it, you’ll learn much more about them and whether you’re truly an amazing match, and if you then realise they’re not the one for you, you’ll walk away with minimal emotional upheaval and your self-worth intact.
4. Chivalry is important. Let him be a gentleman. He should be. It will make him feel good and it will make you feel special, desirable, valuable. Executed genuinely, it will signal that he intends to respect and protect you and your worth going forward. And in my experience, woman almost always want this, even when they’re afraid to admit it to the world.
5. Respect them too. Two happy, healthy people make a happy, healthy relationship. Treat your date with respect and compassion and remember that pseudo-feminism is toxic as hell. If you think there’s potential for a happy-ever-after, treat them as you would want to be treated, and if you’re not a good fit, leave your date better off than how you found them, and karma will pay you back.
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